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Harada Roshi

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When I was 18 I worked on a koan while living at a zen monastery in America. On the third day of rohatsu sesshin I was gripped by the koan like a fish biting a hook. I had a satori that lasted 30 seconds . 40 years have past yet I cannot rouse the doubt sensation with any koan.What to do?

The experience of "Satori" is not something that comes and goes. When you were practising at age 18, you were one pointedly concentrated, having an emotionally based experience. Satori is wisdom, yet it is a wisdom which we have not received from outside. It is that basic experience of not dividing between self and other, which is deeply imprinted and which we cannot forget. As long as there is still the position of a self, this wisdom cannot work freely.

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