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Dear Roshi when I started zazen I was very happy and I liked it a lot. Now I began to see face to face my fears that blocked me for all my life and it seems that once again they are stronger. During zazen I again feel fear and I do not feel relaxed. What can I do?
August 5, 2013, 6:38 pm
During zazen it is not about good or bad. Feeling, thoughts, are being set aside and thus we practice zazen. The eyes simply see, yet if emotions enter, then we cannot see what is really there. The ears simply hear, yet if thoughts enter, we cannot hear correctly. We practice zazen so that we can learn to hear and see again in the correct straight forward way. If we practice zazen and say it was good, that is not how the practice is, neither when we have a bad feeling. Whatever might come up, to not pay any attention to it - that is what we train ourselves in, so that we can awaken to that which lies beyond all feelings and thoughts. Feelings come up according to circumstances, yet they have no true root of their own. If you do not add any further energy to them, they will disappear by themselves.