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Harada Roshi

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Dear RoshiWhen we are in a committed relationship with someone and they are not being truthful about their feelings how do you break the chain of negativities that branch from those insecurities and unresolved conflicts?From a wisdom point of view it is empty but if that person cannot seem to be faithful and committed to telling her honest feelings about experiences how do you resolve this deception from the other person? This seems to have happened a long time ago when the relationship began and she never really opened up to expressing herself truthfully despite all the various difficulties it put us through as a couple. It seems to have destroyed a great amount of trustworthiness and makes me always think she is lying about various events in her life because she doesnt want to openly admit the truth or reality of herself. In return I am left feeling insecure and almost gaslighted in a way. Is this really delusion or is it a delusional convention?

Because of communication human beings are able to share and be in contact. Our world because abundant with culture, study and research. Yet words are so limiting. Some like to play with words, other rather keep silent. In Zen language is seen as a vine which climbs up a tree, yet these words are not the tree itself. That is why in Zen it is pointed out that we need to meet the self beyond words, then you will also see the true self in your friedn. It is important that you make efforts and try to see that true human being inside her. It is not about trusting or not trusting her, but to use the time of this life which doesn´t come twice well. we need to live this precious life honestly.

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