I know someone who I believe is my soul mate because around him I feel settled I know clearly what to do and I feel inspired. Yet Zen says to live from ones own strength. Is it wrong to have a soul mate on the path?

We meet many people, and around some we feel completely settled. This is called “aisho” in Japanese (difficult to translate, maybe “loving attraction”). It is important to meet someone like this. But, let´s take a grain of wheat, it need good earth, the grace of the sun, the grace of rain, good fertilizer, and a caretaking farmer who has wisdom about raising this grain of wheat. However good the karmic connections may be, we can not raise a good plant of wheat, if the seed itself were not of good quality. In order to be a good seed, it is most important to deeply believe in our Buddha nature.