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Manifest this place of holding on to nothing at all and deepen from its wisdom...
Harada Roshi

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My mother died nearly one year ago. Since that time death has become foremost in my thoughts. I see it everywhere from the poor bugs on the windshield of my car to the animals on the road to the news of war everyday. Of course these events are very sad but I wish to see death more closely myself and to conquer my own fears of it. I also think about dying well as I am not sure my mother was able to do so. I have been thinking about how I can help people who are dying. Maybe volunteer at a hospice? My questions are 1 how do I face my own death? 2 If I have not conquered my own fears about death is it wise to try to help others with theirs?

It is lonely when people die, especially hard is it to part from one´s mother. I also had to send my mother off 30 years ago, and I do see her face still in my dreams. I see her face when she put me on a wooden horse to play. I remember the taste of the lunch box she made for me to eat in school. The taste of her miso soup was special. The face when she took me along to the theatre.  The strict face she needed to put on to raise her six children well. And the face of when she was dead, a lonely experience. She came to stay at my temple a few times and we would have a good time, yet because her heart was weak, that is why we could only drive around little. Now that she has died, I can not bring joy to her anymore. Yet in her place, there are many who are in need of joy. Please do share this love for your mother with each person.

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