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Manifest this place of holding on to nothing at all and deepen from its wisdom...
Harada Roshi

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I have always considered myself to be an artist. I am now 35 years old. I became interested in Zen Buddhism around the age of 20 because I needed help both in my personal and artistic development. I didn't have a direction. I read everything I could put my hands on on the topic. I still got nothing out of it I don't know or understand Buddhism. My creativity and intellect seem frozen and yet I continue to have a very strong impulse telling me that I have to get over that barrier. It is like I am constantly hitting my head on an 20 feet thick iron wall. What should I do?

Zen is not about understanding something. Zen is about putting your gear into neutral. Holding onto nothing, not stuck onto anything, being freed from everything. Becoming as huge as the universe in your mind - that is Zen. If you do not let go of all thoughts, then this cannot be experienced. Counting your breaths, becoming your breaths, forgetting yourself. Books are an obstruction. Please become the pure mind of a small child again.

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