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If you want to know about the past, look at the present outcome. If you want to know the future, look at how you are right now...
Harada Roshi

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Trying to live a difference between love and craving i get so tense cause when i do not follow my impulse i am only anxious and when i do thee perhaps it feels like too much. But I never know the others and what they wish for and their intentions. So may it be a light to not want to have someone or was it offending?

That is quite good, yet that you become tense shows that you are getting attached to an idea. Zazen is about realizing the freedom of mind. There is truly nothing we need from the outside and just having enough food to sustain our daily life, we can feel thankfulness for being able to express our Buddha nature, filled with joy.

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