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Im 33 years old now and i still don't know what to do with my life. I have an profession but i don't like my work too much. Its not that i don't like to make an effort i do but the work makes me feel false. I have been practising Zazen in a sangha regularly going to sesshins for 7・8 years and having some degree of opening but this problem still torments me. I feel like I'm not living my life that i didn't make the choices that lead me to this point but have instead been walking as in a feverish dream. It feels like I'm stuck in between two worlds not leaving not entering. Sometimes I dream of burning away everything and starting anew to become a wild animal. But i haven't found the courage yet. And sometimes i think i maybe should just surrender to the forms of my life but it feels so squeamish. I think i could do more be more and use my potential.
January 11, 2016, 7:44 pm
This is not something you ask another person. It is within you where the passion for something arises, isn´t it?