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Our ancestors lived with huge grace: living and dying in the Dharma...
Harada Roshi

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How will one know following the heart if it is really the heart one is following? Especially when it causes pain to people who were close to one.

The "heart" does not have a self. We give our lives for the bigger picture, for what is needed in society, throwing ourselves 100% away and seeing, what is being asked from us. That is all. There is no need to think further. And if one has truly given up the small self, then if there were anyone around feeling pain, then it would only be based on a small egoistic view, because the heart does not divide.

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